“Just Do It” – Nike coined this slogan in the late 1980’s and it was chosen by Advertising Age as one of the top five ad slogans of the 20th century. The chachma behind these three words goes way beyond just marketing athletic equipment! It applies to various aspects of life. Whether you need to muster up the energy to go to the gym after an exhausting day at work or finding the courage to speak in front of a room full of people…you are always subconsciously saying to yourself ‘Just Do It’ in order to make things happen! One area that I find this phrase particularly applicable, and an area that I’m sure Philip Knight and the people over at Nike didn’t fathom it would have any bearing, is in regards to the shidduch scene! Whenever most buchrim spot an attractive meidel, we have a tendency to freeze up and not do anything! Instead we take it upon ourselves to do some Facebook/Google stalking in order to find out who she is and how we can get set up with her! The ball is in our court, and we are essentially looking to a 3rd party to have them take control of our destiny! Why don’t we seize the opportunity, go up to the meidel, strike up a conversation, and ask for her number? Why do we always look to a third party to make things happen instead of taking Nike’s advice, mustering up some courage, and JUST DO IT?

A couple months ago I wrote a piece entitled “10 reasons why stern girls won’t date me.” Since then many girls have approached me and told me that guys were also incredibly ridiculous when it came to dating. Being a guy myself, I found it hard to believe that buchrim could be irrational. This all changed a couple months ago at a shabbos meal by my friend’s apartment. As the meal progressed, the conversation naturally began to move towards the shidduch scene. As I sat there taking in the conversation I listened as the buchrim described in detail what they want in a meidel. One buchur spoke up and said “I will not date so and so because her tooth is crooked.” Another buchur spoke up and said “She is an awesome girl, but there is no way I would date her…she’s from Brooklyn!” Someone at the end of the table chimed in and said “I would NEVER date a Brovender’s girl!” And then it hit me! Guys are really just as absurd as meidels when it comes to going on a date! Due to my new enlighten view of the shidduch crisis; I decided it was only fair to list 10 frequently used reasons why buchrim reject meidels…and my analysis.

I have someone for you!”- I remember feeling elated in my early YU days after hearing those 5 magical words. That short phrase used to make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I felt that someone had finally found my bashert, and we would soon build a bayis ne’eman b’yisroel together. As time went on, those beautiful feelings vanished and I became more skeptical after hearing those words. I began to understand the real meaning of various phrases used by shadchanim when trying to convince me to take out a particular meidel. I’m sure any guy or girl that has been in the “parsha” (dating scene) for at least a couple of months can decipher the following popular phraseology. If you have yet to decode the “shadchan lingo”, and constantly find yourself being set up with “not shayich” individuals, allow me to enlighten you so you don’t get fooled again!

I was sitting in my cubicle one morning, hard at work, and I received an e-mail from my good friend Usher. Typically our e-mails are reserved for business use only, but today the e-mail contained just one cryptic line saying: “Jon, I think I’m going to take out the resume girl.” After asking Usher what in the world he was talking about he proceeded to explain to me that he received an e-mail from a shadchan about a girl he should take out and attached was a copy of her “shidduch resume.” Intrigued, I told him to send me this “shidduch resume.” Until that point the only resume I have ever heard of was a resume used to obtain a job so this whole concept was quite foreign to me. As I skimmed through her resume there were two things that I noticed: 1) Her mother obviously wrote it for her 2) This girl has spent every minute of her life since high school, working towards finding her bashert. She went to all the right schools, camps and had all the right hobbies that will allow her to find a shtark buchur. Then it dawned on me, if I had to put together a shidduch resume it would be far from ideal. So I began to ponder…if an individual has the foresight after high school (apparently everything that takes place before Israel doesn’t really matter), what would be the ideal steps to take in order to build “The Ultimate Shidduch Resume.”

As any honest single Jew can tell you, the shidduch scene today is nothing less than absurd! Whether it’s the silly questions during the initial screening process, the abnormal interaction between guys and girls, or the analysis of every single detail of a date. All of these areas can be discussed and critiqued at great length do to their absurdity; however, the area I’d like to focus on is the excuses I’ve been given as to why various Stern girls won’t go out with me. Keep in minded that I’ve been rejected by quite a few Sternies, so I’d just like to pick my ten favorite/most frequently heard rejections: